Pillowbook of Prudence…
On loss… Today a group of us grieve the passing away of a courageous friend. Losses like these conspire to remind us sometimes briefly, sometimes in more detail of other losses that have occurred throughout our lives.
And whilst there is inevitably grief, the losses enable one to recall the positives inherent in the relationship with the person or even the thing that one has lost.
Very wise Buddhists say that the very act of ‘holding on’ is what causes the pain: what they call ‘attachment’. When one gives up the attachment, the pain eases.
So on this 10th day of September, I recall the vivacity, humour and wit of my friend, the fine needlework she accomplished, her love for her family and friends. And I am happy to let her go because she had done what she set out to do: which was to add so much value to my life and everyone else she touched.
And what would a Pillowbook be without a reference to black clothes?
This same friend has requested that no one wear black to her memorial service. Ah, she’s a woman after my own heart!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend, and I’m glad you can keep happy thoughts of her foremost in your heart. Sometimes it’s pretty difficult.
Thanks Pat.
I think her humour was so outrageous, it’s hard to be too sad. She’d just make an inordinately funny joke about it and tell us off!
Sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a friend, especially a close one, is very difficult. From her request about not wearing black she sounds like a postive thinking person who chose to love life.
Thanks Danielle. Positive in the extreme and one can draw great inspiration from that.
My mother requests that we dance gaily upon her grave at her funeral. I hope I’m up for it when the time comes.
Condolances on your loss, but what a beautiful way to ‘let go’.
*hugs* :} Cathryn
i know of a farming grandmother who has asked for a HUGE party to take place on the farm whilst her ashes are spread behind a tractor across the paddock. You have to laugh!
My friend who just passed away would have adored your mum and adored the farming grandmother’s request as well.
I suppose it’s because I’ve never really experienced the loss of a close friend or family member, but I just can’t imagine coping with it! I think you are very brave.
Nikalee, I lost Dad 12 years ago after a long illness, just like this friend, and I learned that you can grieve and it hurts but that sometimes the one you love has to have permission to leave because its time.
You do cope, nature has a way of helping you. As in every crisis.