Sleepy…

*I wrote this post much earlier this year, not long after I had finished writing Book of Kings. Tobias was really just a seed of an idea. I wasn’t even sure there could be a book. I’m never a really solid sleeper and as I lay awake, I decided to write about the experience of a sleepless night. Here we go…*

 

Sometimes, not often, there are nights when you can’t sleep.

You have a nice long bubble bath at 11PM, with the warm water dribbling in – the most deliciously soporific sound.

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You get out, pat yourself dry with a thick towel and rub some fragrant body lotion on –

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some Crabtree and Evelyn, maybe some Chanel No.5 – whatever pleases you, aromas that draw you away to beautiful places.

You pull on the PJ’s – satin if that’s your fancy or crisply ironed cotton. Whatever, it is a clean cosseted feel over the skin. You climb into bed.

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It’s been a long day and the body is tired and it’s impossible not to say ‘Aaaaah!’ as you lie back on smooth sheets, a perfect mattress and favourite pillows.

You read. For half an hour, maybe an hour, waiting for that moment when you know that your eyes are beginning to droop, the body is in neutral and the mind is nowhere.

But it’s midnight-ish and you’ve barely dozed. You turn out the bedside light and lie there, eyes closed, breathing, trying to draw you mind into a state of ease.

Looking at the clock is a wake-up signal. It reads 1.30 AM. You go to the loo in the dark, wander round the house, open the blinds and look out at the nightlights.

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Make a hot milk drink in the dark in the belief that if you turn on the light, you really will wake up.

You carry it back to bed in the dark. Then realise you have to turn the bedside light on to find the bedside table in order to put the mug down.

You climb back into a bed that doesn’t feel as good as it did a couple of hours before. The sheets are rucked, the covers have slipped, the pillows are dented.

You read the latest Australian Country Style

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 and get lost in gardens, houses, farming life and Jack Russell terriers.

It’s 2.20AM.

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By the side of the bed is your book for these sorts of nights. Count Your Blessings – A Selection of Letters by Her Majesty the Queen Mother. You get lost in her calm, generous words and along with the night chorus from your belly, your eyes finally get heavy.

It’s 3 AM.

With luck, by 3.30AM, you might be asleep. To be woken at Dawn by birds who have no manners, no etiquette and the idea that world needs to share daylight with them. Two and a half hours sleep if you are lucky.

Could be worse…

You could get no sleep at all.